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Tag: gender-neutral

Mr and Mrs – and what about Mx and Esq?

We have looked at gender-neutral language in a previous blog post.

To address people we can use the honorific titles Mr, Miss and Mrs.

A man and a woman are walking on a beach by the sea.
Mr and Mrs Gibson on the beach

The female forms Mrs and Miss indicate whether a woman is married or not, which Mr does not. Mrs shows that a woman is married; many widows and divorced women retain the title even though they no longer have a spouse.

In the 1950s many women did not want to be known by their marital status and used the title Ms to replace Mrs and Miss. This usage became more widely spread in the 1970s and Ms is now the common form. However, the abbreviation Ms is older than you may think – it was used in an American newspaper as early as 1901. 

Use the neutral Ms when you write to a woman unless you notice that she herself uses the title Mrs. If in doubt, ask her what she prefers.

The gender-neutral title Mx can be used to refer to a person who wants to be identified as neither male nor female. The title has become adopted by institutions in the UK such as the Royal Mail, agencies dealing with passports and driving licences as well as several banks.  Mx is pronounced mix, sometimes em-ex.

Mr, Mrs and Mx are always used before a name, while Miss can stand alone.

Good morning, Mrs Johnson!
Thank you, Miss.

Without a following name, Mr and Mrs are replaced by sir and madam (or ma’am), respectively.

Can I help you, ma’am?
Very kind of you, sir!

The plural of Miss is Mses, and the plural of Mrs is Mmes, short for mesdames.

Mr has a plural form, Messrs, which is put before the names of two or more men, especially in the name of a company.

Send your request to Messrs Watson & Sons.

Young boys are sometimes addressed as Master.

As you see (and surely know), these titles are always capitalised. In American English there is usually a full stop after the abbreviations.

You may have come across the abbreviation Esq. The word Esquire used to be a title given to men of higher rank in society. In the 20th century it came to be used as a general title for any man, usually added after a man’s name, especially in correspondence (on envelopes and in letters) and official documents: William Brown, Esq. This is the same as Mr William Brown. If Esq. is used, you do not write Mr before the name.

When a British man is invited to Buckingham Palace, Esq. is added to his name on the envelope; for men of other nationalities, Mr is used instead.

In the United States, Esquire refers to a lawyer, irrespective of gender. It is used as an abbreviation after a person’s full name.

I suggest you contact my lawyer, Susan Hall, Esq.

When addressing correspondence to a United States diplomat, Esquire may be used, written in full.

Read about how you use honorific titles to start a letter or an email here.

Can they be one person?

When we write about a person, it is sometimes not clear whether we refer to a man or a woman. Words such as somebody or person are neutral and can refer to either gender. That causes a problem for instance when we need to use a pronoun in the singular and still want to be gender-neutral.

One way is to write he or she and his or her or he/she and his/her

Somebody left his or her umbrella on the train.
The preferences a person has about what he/she does should be taken into account.

However, writing he or she, etc., looks a bit clumsy. Using they even if we talk about one person is nowadays generally accepted also by most style guides.

Somebody left their umbrella on the train.
Why would anybody want to end their life?
Each child played with their own toys.
Every teacher used their own method.

An umbrella hanging on a hedge.
Somebody left their umbrella here

In fact, they has been used in the singular (in writing) since the 14th century.

We can use the singular form themself if we refer to one person (and themselves is also correct).

Everybody must look after themself (or themselves).
It’s all about letting someone be themself. (Cambridge Dictionary)

To language purists the singular form themself may seem unnatural. However, it was used in English as early as the 1300s and there are examples from Emily Dickinson and F. Scott Fitzgerald well over a hundred years ago. Even if themself is still seen by a majority as nonstandard, the word is gaining popularity. And it is practical. After all, we write yourself and yourselves.

They is nowadays sometimes used to refer to a person whose gender is nonbinary, that is, who wants to be identified as neither male nor female. This use may still sound strange to many people.

Kim, our new coworker, wants to be referred to as they.
Sam drinks their coffee without sugar.

They was Merriam-Webster’s Word of the Year 2019.

Traditionallly, he used to refer to a person whose gender was unknown, but that use has come to be seen as sexist. Now some writers seem to want to counteract male dominance by using only the female forms she and her even when the reference may be to a neutral word such as person.

How can a person make sure that her views are taken into consideration?

To sum up, use they (and them, their) when the gender of the person referred to is unknown or irrelevant.

Avoid writing combined forms such as s/he or (s)he.

You can read about the use of gender-neutral titles here.

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